Reasons For Running
by ClosetFMAfan
Summary: She was a friend of Bill's from school, the wife of Remus Lupin, daughter of Andromeda and Ted Tonks, an Auror, Member of the Order of the Phoenix, mother of a werewolf's child, and the reason he couldn't stand himself enough to stay.


**I was not planning on posting this one since there are already so many fics about this, but I had to write it out to get it out of my head, so I might as well post it... plus almost all of the fics I've read about when Remus leaves Tonks involve her telling him she's pregnant, him freaking out, and then leaving. And from the way that we see Lupin act at Harry's birthday party and the wedding, I don't know, I just always thought that he already knew. And Pottermore never really said anything about how he found out exactly, so this has remained my head canon.**

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><p>"I'm a friend of Bill's from school," Tonks repeated for what much have been the twentieth time that night. "His brother Charlie and I were in the same year – Bill was usually in charge of making sure we didn't blow up the school."<p>

"And him?"

"I was allowed to bring my husband. Besides, Remus taught most of the Weasley children. He wanted to see them again."

If it had been any other situation, this would have been a perfectly acceptable answer, and indeed most of the normal Ministry officials accepted it and moved on after initial surprise to seeing one of their own there. But the Death Eaters that had invaded Bill and Fleur's wedding couldn't accept her answer, especially since they knew that it was her parents' house that Harry had gone to after fleeing Privet Drive. With the Ministry on the Death Eater's side now, they were sure to be targeted as much as the Weasleys had been. Remus seemed to have realized this as well because he was gripping her hand tightly every time they weren't separated for questioning.

The Death Eater that was questioning her stare at Remus before sneering. "Ah… The werewolf."

Remus stiffened.

"Yes, we heard about your little… puppy love. Tell me, is he house trained yet?" Tonks clenched her jaw. She couldn't hex him, he was in the position of power right now. This wasn't the first time they had faced this treatment in the past few hours. She wasn't sure how all of the Death Eaters seemed to know about her and Remus's marriage, especially since they had specifically had a small ceremony in the north of Scotland just to make sure that no one unfriendly would know. Somehow, though, they had found out.

So she didn't bother to respond, though, even though she could feel that her husband was about as stiff as a board. The best response had to just been ignoring them, so far.

"He hasn't given you fleas yet, has he?"

She continued to hold her tongue, but did let a sneer cross her face. The Death Eater's face turned dark.

Then he slapped her.

Remus surged forward, not really sure if he was planning to use his wand or his own hand. He just wanted to do something to him for touching his wife. Except the Death Eater just flicked his wand at Remus, causing his whole body to seize up. He hadn't even taken his eyes off of Tonks.

"Don't look at me like that you filthy half blood. You're the one who tainted yourself, associating with this filth."

Tonks was currently employing all of her self-control to keep herself from cursing the Death Eater. His next comment froze the hand drifting towards her wand though.

"I hope you have the decency to kill any cubs," he spat the word, causing both Tonks and Remus to flinch (or, Remus would have flinched if he wasn't currently frozen), "before it realizes what you did to it."

All the color had drained away from her face and she had to force herself to not let her hand rest over her stomach.

The Death Eater gave her another sneer. "Then again, maybe it'll be born a werewolf that can change its fur. You could teach it to do tricks."

"You're despicable," Tonks spat, still pale.

"I was going to say the same about you." He ran his eyes over her again before spitting at the ground near her feet. It must have been all the questioning he was going to do though, because he left them then.

Tonks quickly pulled out her wand and muttered the counter curse to free Remus from the Body Bind curse. He clambered to his feet, then placed his hands on either side of her face.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Remus," she said, resting her cheek against his hands. "It'd take a lot more than a little slap to hurt me."

"And…" he lowered one hand so that it rested gently on her stomach. "… and… the…"

"Fine," she breathed, causing him to sigh in relief. She reached up to touch his face, but he had already pulled away from her, wearing the same expression on his face that she knew by now to associate with him thinking about being noble again.

"Remus, don't listen to a thing he said, alright Remus? Remus—"

"Tonks, what are you doing here?"

Tonks sighed heavily through her nose.

"I'm a friend of Bill's from school."

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><p>When they were finally permitted to leave at the end of their extensive questioning and narrow avoidance of the Cruciatus Curse, neither Remus nor Tonks had to communicate as to where they were going as they held hands and Apparated.<p>

After the squeezing sensation disappeared, both were alarmed at the sight that greeted them there. The front door of the Tonks' house had been broken down, and her mother's carefully cultivated garden had been destroyed. There was no Dark Mark though, which was a relief.

All the same, Remus didn't begrudge his wife when she let go of his hand, running to the door, screaming for her mother and father. He followed, wand drawn.

"Dora? Dora is that you?"

"Dad!" she called out, throwing herself into Ted Tonks's arms. He held onto her briefly before letting go to get a better look at her. He seemed alright. There was a cut on his forehead, but it looked like it had already partially healed. "Are you alright? What happened? Where's Mum?"

"Dora, darling, slow down. First, what did you ask me and your mother for the last time you came to visit?"

Tonks glanced back at Remus who was looking around at the front parlor, which had been rather destroyed.

"Advice."

"On?"

"On how to tell Remus I was pregnant." The tips of Remus's ears went pink, but he covered it well.

"Good. Do you want me to answer one?"

"I think if you were a Death Eater in disguise your response to my answer would have been answer enough." Ted smiled, then hugged his daughter again.

"I'm so glad you're alright. Dromeda and I didn't know if you were safe or not."

"I'm fine, Dad, just tell me what happened."

"Ted, would you allow me—?" Remus asked, gesturing to the broken furniture. Ted waved his hand to show his consent.

"Of course, thank you Remus. The Death Eaters arrived, just broke down the door. Dromeda was in the kitchen and I was in here, so I put up a bit of a fight. That was how most of the furniture got destroyed. They managed to get me though, and began torturing me, asking where Harry had gone after he was here. They did the same to Dromeda when I wouldn't answer. She's alright, we both are. Shaken up, but we're alright."

"Are you sure? Where's Mum?"

"She's asleep right now. We're just lucky that Bellatrix wasn't the one doing the torturing. I don't think she would have left us alive. I was just about to put up some more defensive charms when you two arrived. What happened to you two?"

Tonks explained the story in as few words as she could, completely leaving out the Death Eaters who seemed to know about their marriage. All the while, Remus quietly and quickly went about putting the parlor back together.

It was almost impossible to tell anything had happened in the room by the time Tonks was done with the explanation.

"Thank Merlin you two are alright. Or should I say, you three." Tonks smiled, not noticing the grimace that crossed Remus's face. Ted's eyes narrowed slightly at glancing as his son-in-law, but the expression was gone quickly.

"Are you sure you and Mum are okay though? I don't want to leave and have anything happen—"

"We'll be fine, Dora."

"Actually, Ted, I think she's right."

Both of the Tonkses stared at the Lupin. "Pardon me, son?"

"With the Ministry fallen, none of us are quite safe," he explained. "If we were to stay here, I would sleep better knowing that you're being protected by two members of the Order of the Phoenix."

"What about you two, though?"

"What about us?"

"You're a young married couple, Remus!"

"I'm hardly young, Ted—"

"No, but your marriage is. You two are still newlyweds. You should be together, figuring out the way you're going to live your lives together. Not living with your in-laws. Dromeda and I are both pretty powerful, we can look out for ourselves."

"I'm not denying that you and Andromeda can't take care of yourselves!" Remus said quickly. "Not at all. But there is strength in numbers, and four powerful wizards are much more likely to survive than two. And," he said when Tonks opened his mouth to protest again, "if we were here, Andromeda would be able to help Tonks with the baby."

"That is a good point, Dad," Tonks admitted. Ted glanced at his daughter, his brow furrowed.

"But… it doesn't seem right. You two should be together…"

"We're not going to be sleeping in other sides of the house, Dad," Tonks said, wrinkling her nose. "We can both stay in my old room. I think Remus is right, we should stick together."

"What about your parents?"

Remus shook his head. "My father isn't a target. He's… got a talent for avoiding attention. And hardly anyone even knows that my father is still alive. He should be safe, and even if he isn't, he's a brilliant wizard and a pureblood at that. And Ted, these aren't normal times. Perhaps if we weren't in the middle of the war, I would agree with you that Dora and I need time to be alone with just each other, but this is a war and we can't afford a luxury like that."

Ted stared at his son-in-law, almost speechless. He didn't think he had ever seen the man argue for something so passionately. Mostly he had stood there and been polite the other times that they had met.

Ted couldn't help a grin spreading across his face. He was starting to see more why his daughter had fallen so head over heels for him.

"I think I understand why it took you over a year to convince him to get over himself, Dora. The man can certainly argue a point."

Tonks laughed. "That he can. Only problem is when he gets it in his head to argue stupid points."

"Alright, alright," Ted said, throwing up his hands. "You're right."

"Are you sure that's what you want though, love?" Tonks asked, though, moving closer to him.

"It's what's best," he answered evenly, not quite looking her in the eyes. She had to fight back a sigh of impatience. He was not going to be doing that distance thing again.

"Remus, look at me," she whispered. He didn't for a few seconds, so she put a hand on his cheek, forcing his eyes to meet hers. "This doesn't have anything to do with what the Death Eater said, does it?" He didn't respond and something inside her seemed to lurch. He had to understand. "Remus, you can't listen to what he said. Our child is going to be amazing. He's going to be perfect, alright? And nothing a man like that said is going to change that."

"I know, Tonks."

The response left something to be wanting, but she realized from the tone of the voice that he wasn't going to be convinced so easily. "And you're not going to let what he said get to you?"

He hesitated, but then eventually relaxed. "Of course not," he answered, touching his forehead to hers. She smiled, especially when she felt his hand brushing some of her hair behind one ear. "Though, I have to admit, they are getting more original."

"What?"

"Well, I've heard the flea comment a hundred times or better, but I have to admit that I've never been asked if I was house trained. They're getting original."

She laughed, but the laughter quickly turned to tears.

"Dora? Dora, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she answered, whipping the tears away with the palm of her hand. "It's just these stupid hormones. I'm alright really."

"Are you sure?" he asked tenderly.

"Yes. I'm fine, Remus. And the baby is going to be fine. She's going to be perfect."

"Of course."

They stood there for a few more moments, before she finally pulled away. "I think I'm going to go follow Mum's example."

Remus nodded. "I'll get our stuff. And Ted, if you'd like some help with the protective enchantments?"

"That'd be much appreciated."

"Alright. Goodnight, Dora."

She kissed him goodnight, trying not to think too much into the fact that he shortened the kiss by pulling away and wouldn't meet her eyes again when she looked at him afterwards.

* * *

><p>When Remus returned with the essentials of his and Tonks's belongings, Ted had passed out on the couch.<p>

He didn't blame his father-in-law. Torture under the Cruciatus Curse was excruciating and exhausting. Especially if he was staying strong enough to avoid telling them where Harry had gone. So instead of waking him up, Remus quietly made his way up the stairs, dropping his stuff off in Tonks's old room. He knew where it was only from the infrequent visits he had made to the house before.

He was actually rather glad that Ted had been asleep when he came in; otherwise he might have noticed the conspicuous lack of Remus's belongings.

He was just as quiet about descending the stairs and beginning to cast the protective charms. The standards would of course be appreciated, but with the Ministry fallen they wouldn't stand up very long. He raked his brains, trying to remember if he knew any spells that would be able to withstand heavy barrage. Or at least make them far harder to find. There was no chance of being able to pull a Fidilius charm right now, but he thought he remembered how to make a building Unplottable.

Ted joined him about halfway through the list of protective charms that Remus could remember. He waiting until Remus finished a particularly long incantation before speaking.

"You know, Remus, one of these days, and it might not be that far off seeing how you've already got one on the way, you'll know exactly how much it means that I've let you have my little girl."

"I know."

"No, Remus you don't. You can't know. Dora's brought home one or two other boys before. It looked like she was getting serious with Charlie Weasley for a bit before he went off to Romania. But there's never been a man that's managed to make her light up like she does when she's with you. And because of that, I've let you have her."

"Thank you," Remus whispered, trying his hardest to convey how much that really meant to him. He still couldn't quite understand it, couldn't fathom how any parents could give up their daughter to a man like him. The scum of society, not even fit to look at her, let alone marry her… or get her pregnant. "Especially with what I am…"

"We Hufflepuffs are supposed to be known for honesty, so I won't deny I was too excited when I heard my baby girl was marrying a werewolf," Remus didn't look him in the eyes. He didn't think he could. "But Dora's fighting for you. And that's something she never did for the other boys."

That if anything made him make eye contact with his father-in-law. "What do you mean?"

"Everyone always tells me how much she's like me, but at heart, Dora's always been her mother's daughter. She makes a decision about whether something is right or wrong and then fights for it. It's the Black in her, though the Blacks as a whole do tend to make the wrong decisions about what's right." Well, Remus had plenty of experience with that particular Black trait. "She made a decision about you, Remus, and she won't stop fighting for you as long as she has breath. Dromeda was the same way when we fell in love. It's the way these women show that they love someone."

There was a pause as Remus considered the words.

"Thank you, Ted."

"Of course. Now, where did you leave off with the charms?"

Remus shook his head. "No, Ted, I'll finish them off. You're exhausted. I can finish."

"Why thank you, Remus. I think I might just go join my wife then. You should do so yourself when you're done."

The two men smiled at each other, and Ted didn't seem to notice how forced Remus's was.

He finished the protective charms as he promised, then slipped his wand into his pocket.

He took a deep breath.

Then he took six steps to the front of the garden, turned around, and Disapparated.

He landed in front of the Leaky Cauldron and his first breath was so shockingly different from the last that it almost gave him vertigo.

He had to find Harry. And Hermione and Ron. He wouldn't be able to stay away if there wasn't something else for him to do. And besides, he wanted to look over them. Ever since James's death, and even more after Sirius's, he felt as if he really needed to take some steps at least to protect his best friend's son. (Not take a father position of course, he had never wanted that position in Harry's life. Never wanted to make Harry have that connection to him. Then again, what had he done to his unwilling unborn child?)

Remus had always wanted to be a father. He could remember the way James lit up whenever Harry was mentioned, whenever he was around. He would never forget the way James started crying when Harry finally learned how to say 'Dadda'. But he had always wanted to be a father in the same way everyone would like to one day be a millionaire—never expecting it to actually happen.

He tried. He really did. He tried to have some of the infinite optimism that Tonks seemed to have with her all the time. Indeed, when she first told him the news, the day after they accompanied Harry to the Burrow, he had nearly broken down, not sure whether to laugh or cry tears of happiness. The idea that he actually had the chance to actually be father…

Then that night he had realized just what it meant. The possibility that he had passed along his condition to an innocent child, the revolution his child would no doubt feel towards him because of what he was.

Over the past week there were moments that he really felt as if maybe things could work out. Maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't be like him. He wouldn't hate him. Things would change, he wouldn't be looked down on for being a werewolf's son.

Then things would become real. When the Minister arrived at Harry's birthday party… the Ministry… what about when they found out? Especially now with the Death Eaters in charge?

He knew he had been careless, weak when he married Tonks. But he had been alone for so long, and every other person in his life had left him. She hadn't cared. He had warned her more times than he could count, and she didn't care.

He had given in.

But that was her choice. She had made a choice to be with him despite what he was and what it meant for her. He had only been able to stand himself when she got spat at, or when her parents had stared, because he knew that this was what she wanted.

The child had no choice in the matter. He would be born into the world like any innocent child, and because of Remus he would be forced to endure painful transformations every month. Excruciating pain. He had hardly been able to stand the transformations when he was five, to endure it younger? And Tonks may have agreed to not care about the dangers or social stigma that came with marrying him, but living with a werewolf child? He knew what that had done to his mother. How could he live with himself knowing he had done that to her?

He walked into the Leaky Cauldron, nodded to Tom, and was about to ask a question about whether he had seen or heard anything out of the ordinary (he doubted the trio would be foolish enough to come here, but it was a good starting point. Grimmauld Place would also probably be a good place to check while he was at it.) when he noticed a certain hooded figure in the corner of the bar.

Dolohov.

No doubt he was here waiting to see if Harry would show up. Remus swore under his breath. They knew he was a member of the Order and would assume he was looking for Harry. Or knew where he was. They would trail him, he was certain of it.

He would have to lose the trail before he could check anywhere else seriously. Grimmauld Place was off the table, especially if the three actually were there.

So instead of inquiring after anything unusual, Remus found himself asking about open rooms and laying down the very little gold he had in his pocket to rent a room for a night.

He tried to avoid thinking about what it would be like at the Tonks' when Dora woke up and realized he never joined her last night.

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><p><strong>In case any of my usual readers are reading this (it isn't my normal fandom, so I don't know), no I have not forgotten my promise to keep writing AlMei! I've just been enjoying having a bit of a break. I'm hoping to get the newest mulit-chap story up sometime this month, with a tentative date set for the 28th. No promises, but that's the hope.<strong>

**Please read and review!**


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